Wenick Speech & Transcript
Good afternoon. Before I begin, I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone who has supported me in the last couple weeks. As a child, I used to dream of the campaign trail. Of traveling across the country to states I’d never been to and meeting people from all walks of life. I mean, at the time, I pictured the White House as a sparkling white castle floating on a cloud, but the sentiment remains the same. I want to ensure that every American feels like they have something to offer this nation, that we have room for every big idea. Every big dream. The last few weeks, you’ve seen many of us candidates caught up in a whirlwind of political smearing. “You’re too red! You’re too blue! Your grammar is bad, how will you run the country?” I’m sure that if each of you had a nickel for every time you heard one of those statements, collectively we’d have enough money to pay out the national debt. I’m not here to delve even deeper into this black hole of gossip and falseness. Gossip is the noise people make in order to stifle out the truth, and, frankly folks, we must tune it out. We must rise above and focus on what’s really important. Sure, maybe Eva Herscowitz did manipulate a hard-working American family for political gain in order to distract from her strong ties to the upper ranks of the mafia. Who knows? She might be the 21st century Al Capone. But, instead of talking about that, we should instead be focusing on the weaknesses in her tax plan. And let me tell you, they are criminal. No pun intended! Today, I’m going to talk to you, plainly and without any ulterior motive, about my agenda for our nation. First and foremost, I want to eradicate social injustice. Look, it’s absolutely unacceptable that discrimination still has a seat at the American table. Hate is a shackle. It always has been and it’s time to break free. We will close the wage gap. We will ban discrimination in hiring practices. We will let equality reign. As for education, we will be taking steps to reform the common core curriculum. We will be implementing programs that allow for underprivileged students to participate in charter schools. These schools are providing kids extra hours. They’re given hot meals. The basic, fundamental rights our country should be giving our kids. We hear stories every day of how the system fails. It fails to educate. It fails to grant opportunities. I propose that we fix these glaring domestic problems first. We have some of the best medical care in the world, but according to CNBC, as of 2016, 27.3 million Americans were left without it. Healthcare is complicated and it’s messy. Finding a solution was bound to be messy as well. Reform like Obamacare is problematic for a variety of reasons, but at least it’s a start. It’s not worth scrapping and starting over. It’s worth keeping and tweaking, and that is what I will do. Finally, I would like to end my chat with you by addressing the joke I made regarding the existence of a certain prehistoric beast, and how it was taken very seriously. Now, I appreciate that the media is a serious publication, so I would like a chance to respond to them in a completely serious manner. To prove just how much I seriously believe in the existence of dinosaurs, I will end my little speech here in the tongue of the velociraptor. SQUAWK SQUAWK RARRRR SQUAWK RARRRRRR. Hey, it still made more sense than Katherine Sylvester’s plan for the economy! Thank you very much for your time, and I will see you on the road.